The wedding fiasco that wasn’tFree Access

I’m sure everyone with a Pleasanton Express subscription is waiting with bated breath for a word from Robbie.

So to satisfy the masses, or at least a few old co-workers, I thought I would write a little update regarding this exciting life of mine.

First things first, my new job. I am thoroughly enjoying it. There is much to take in and while I wish I could say I am soaking it up like a sponge, I’m catching on to things a bit more slowly. Sort of like a water-logged rag. Basically, the courthouse speaks a different language so I’ve resigned myself to the reality that it will take some time for me to understand all the goings on around these parts.

The building itself is quite beautiful, and the historical aspects of working here make it that much more enjoyable. This building has seen quite a lot in its day, I am sure. And lately there has been history made here with the capital murder trial.   I did take an opportunity to sneak in to court and have a bit of a listen to the closing arguments. The whole thing is just tragic.

Aside from the new job, I now have a daughter-in-law. My oldest son, Brandon tied the knot to his high school girlfriend Jayti.

Of course, she’s more than a daughter-in-law to me. I have known her since she was two and am great friends with her mom.

Being the mother of the groom saved me from a lot of the work that went into making the wedding as perfect as it was.

And it really was perfect. They looked wonderful, the ceremony was near perfection, the reception was a blast.

Did you notice I said near perfection.

What wasn’t perfect you might be wondering. Let me share a little pet peeve of mine…gum chewing. No, I don’t mind someone chewing gum, just chewing gum at inappropriate times…during productions such as graduations…and weddings.

As I sat with the bride and her party waiting for the service to begin I noticed her little sister was chewing gum. I waited a moment, but soon had to suggest to their mother that the gum be trashed, lest it be forgotten before the stroll drown the isle. The teen was only slightly agitated as she spit out the Wrigley’s.

I let out a sigh of relief that I was free to worry about other things besides bridesmaids chomping gum.

That is, until I, the mother-of-the-groom, was being escorted down the aisle by the handsome groom himself. As my eyes made their way to the front of the church, to the best man, his little brother, I noticed he was chewing something…Chomping….Smacking…Smiling. Chomping….Smacking…Smiling.

And with every smile, smack and chomp Colton gave, my face gave a furrow, frown and glare.

Now, remember, I’m the mother of the groom. We don’t have a good reputation as it is. This was no time to wear a grimace.

I’m not sure how long it took me to realize I was entering a full church of people with eyes on me. Not to mention a camera poised to forever capture my scowl that was directed at the smiling groomsman. But as soon as I did, I turned that frown upside down and focused on my purpose. The handsome young man escorting me down the aisle was soon to marry to his beautiful high school sweetheart.

Thankfully as I made my way up to the front to light the unity candle I had to walk right past the chomping Colton so through gritted teeth I was able to say, “Swallow. That. Gum.”   His smile was temporarily interrupted, but as soon as his annoyance, and possibly embarrassment, passed he was back to the grinning groomsman pose.

Crisis averted.

The newlyweds are settling into married life. He’s still working at his dream job, peanut farming, and she is student teaching at the elementary in Jourdanton.

Both oblivious to the near fiasco that almost ruined their big day.



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