A recent Washington Post story about American automobile drivers and their capacity to identify themselves as “the enemy” when it comes to road behavior reminded me of a story told long ago by comedian Bro. Dave Gardner. I was a fan before Gardner openly embraced racism and ruined a promising career.

His stories were about Southerners and their habits and idiosyncracies.

This particular Gardner story begins:

“There was this preacher who was driving his automobile down the highway. You know the kind — fat, happy, jolly soul. He’d begin a sermon with ‘And, er, HUUUUHHHHHHH!!!!!’ Dear Hearts, that’s to alert the nodders. Anyway, the preacher is driving and he notices this car up ahead of him that’s weaving all over the highway, so he says, ‘Something’s wrong with that poor soul. He must be ill.’ Then, the preacher says to himself, ‘I’d better hit the passing gear and get out around this drunk before he kills us all.’ He hits the passing gear and the car hits a slick spot and spins thrice and into a ditch.

“The drunk reaches the scene, gets out of his car and goes over to the preacher’s car and says, ‘You alright, Preacher?’

‘Yes, thank you. The Lord’s ridin’ with me.’

‘Well, you better let ‘im out of there and ride with me before you kill ‘im!’”

Perhaps drivers’ revelations won’t quite match Gardner’s story about the preacher and the drunk, but you get the idea.

The survey was conducted by the American Automobile Assocation’s Foundation for Traffic Safety. Almost everyone in the survey said drunken driving was unacceptable and three-fourths said drunken drivers were a serious threat. However, 14 percent of the respondents said they’d recently (within the year) driven at or near the alcohol level limit.

One of my real bugaboos is people using cell phones while they drive, especially TEXTING and 94 percent on the survey said so. However, more than a third said they had read texts or email while driving and 25 percent admitted they’d sent messages. Two-thirds said they talked on their cell phones while driving and one third said they’d sent messages.

AAA’s survey revealed that 74 percent of drivers believed it was unacceptable to go more than 15 mph above the speed limit on a freeway but more than half admitted having done it.

Even more alarming is that although 94 percent of the survey respondents said excessive speeding was unacceptable on a residential street, one-fourth admitted they had gone more than 15 mph above the limit.

One wrong almost all of us are guilty of involves seat belts. Although 86 percent agree belts should be used, almost one-fourth said they had not used one at least once in the month before the survey.

A little extra caution (not in the survey): Be aware of speed traps. We should all observe posted speed limits but sometimes that’s a bit difficult.

A year or so ago, I was driving through this northeast Texas town on my way home from a business trip. I noted the speed limit signs and eased through the town. I got on the other side of town, or so I thought because they were no structures of any kind for at least a mile and a half, probably two miles. I’m doing 62 and out of nowhere comes a set of flashing lights and a siren. The city officer said I was doing 62 in a 40 mph zone. I paid the fine and took the online driving course to keep it from affecting my insurance.

It was a speed trap. No doubt about it. But, “it keeps taxes low,” someone said.

Watch for traffic signs of any kind and if you see a law enforcement car on the side of the road, just bet he’s running radar. A little extra caution won’t only help avoid accidents, it’ll save you money.

WILLIS WEBB is a retired community newspaper editor-publisher. He can be reached by email at <wwebb@wildblue.net>